I've written this post, or started to about a dozen times. Then I delete it, or I simply don't finish it. My draft folder is slowly filling up.
Its February, in December my Dad went for a hernia surgery and then my parents were going to head to Florida for a few weeks of sun and rest. I'm learning that you can plan your life all you want but that we never know what is in store for us. You see, during that routine surgery they found a mass. A CT scan showed a tumor. My Dad got very ill very fast, and they rushed him in for another surgery, a diagnostic surgery to see what they were dealing with. PMP, a form of cancer that originates in the appendix. They removed the appendix and the tumor and as much of this mucin that the tumor was producing as possible. They found a large infection, this is being treated with antibiotics and a drain and recovery feels slow. Today they go back to the surgeon to hear the test results from the last surgery.
And I wait, and type in one paragraph a brief outline of what has been a hard two months. Two months of doctors and hospitals and waiting. And raising a family and being positive. And in all that we celebrated Christmas and helped my brother and his family prepare for their move to Australia.
The truth friends, I'm tired and I'm scared. My life has been shaken and I don't like that. I'm an organizer, I have my weeks planned and I know whats coming. Until I realize that I really don't. At all, have a clue of what the future holds.
Life comes with so many different struggles, so much brokenness and illness. And yet there are blessings in the pain, we have such hope for a better tomorrow - this life is a mere shadow of what awaits us and the strength we have been given, I can't explain it. God is our everything, and in all of this we look to Him. And though it is hard, though life does not go as we plan or as we want, we can get through it. We move forward in faith and are thankful for all the blessings we have been given. I come from a very happy childhood, parents who taught us by example what it means to be a living Christian. As I write this my parents and one sister are sitting somewhere in Toronto, waiting to meet with the surgeon. I don't know what the next few hours will bring and in my head I keep saying this verse.
Heb 12:1 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us".
The race marked out for us - such a powerful thought. Nothing we face is without Him, our race, our life. All of you who are reading this have your own struggles, your own pain and your own worries. Some of you have mourned for your unborn children, called home before you were able to hold them. There are marriage struggles and raising children worries. Church issues and extended family issues. Cancer and precious babies born that will face challenges in life that we did not expect. Sin and pain swirl around all of us and yet, when we keep our eyes on Him we can rejoice in today. Rejoice, at times with heavy hearts for those around us.
My Mom keeps reminded our family of this verse, written when Paul was in prison.
Philippians 4:4
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"
