"I will say it again, Rejoice!"

I've written this post, or started to about a dozen times.  Then I delete it, or I simply don't finish it.  My draft folder is slowly filling up.

Its February, in December my Dad went for a hernia surgery and then my parents were going to head to Florida for a few weeks of sun and rest.  I'm learning that you can plan your life all you want but that we never know what is in store for us.  You see, during that routine surgery they found a mass.  A CT scan showed a tumor.  My Dad got very ill very fast, and they rushed him in for another surgery, a diagnostic surgery to see what they were dealing with.  PMP, a form of cancer that originates in the appendix.  They removed the appendix and the tumor and as much of this mucin that the tumor was producing as possible.  They found a large infection, this is being treated with antibiotics and a drain and recovery feels slow.  Today they go back to the surgeon to hear the test results from the last surgery.

And I wait, and type in one paragraph a brief outline of what has been a hard two months.  Two months of doctors and hospitals and waiting.  And raising a family and being positive.  And in all that we celebrated Christmas and helped my brother and his family prepare for their move to Australia.  

The truth friends, I'm tired and I'm scared.  My life has been shaken and I don't like that.  I'm an organizer, I have my weeks planned and I know whats coming.  Until I realize that I really don't.   At all, have a clue of what the future holds. 

Life comes with so many different struggles, so much brokenness and illness.   And yet there are blessings in the pain, we have such hope for a better tomorrow - this life is a mere shadow of what awaits us and the strength we have been given, I can't explain it.  God is our everything, and in all of this we look to Him.  And though it is hard, though life does not go as we plan or as we want, we can get through it. We move forward in faith and are thankful for all the blessings we have been given.  I come from a very happy childhood, parents who taught us by example what it means to be a living Christian. As I write this my parents and one sister are sitting somewhere in Toronto, waiting to meet with the surgeon.  I don't know what the next few hours will bring and in my head I keep saying this verse. 

Heb 12:1 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.  And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us". 

The race marked out for us - such a powerful thought.  Nothing we face is without Him, our race, our life.  All of you who are reading this have your own struggles, your own pain and your own worries.  Some of you have mourned for your unborn children, called home before you were able to hold them.  There are marriage struggles and raising children worries.  Church issues and extended family issues.  Cancer and precious babies born that will face challenges in life that we did not expect. Sin and pain swirl around all of us and yet, when we keep our eyes on Him we can rejoice in today.  Rejoice, at times with heavy hearts for those around us. 

My Mom keeps reminded our family of this verse, written when Paul was in prison.

Philippians 4:4

"Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!"

Introducing Nadia Elise - 5 months later

I've been hesitant to start blogging again, our daily life is rather chaotic these days and time to sit and write and post pictures is hard to come by. And yet I miss this place to jot down thoughts and the happenings of life and I'm going to attempt to start again.  Pick up where I left off and see how it goes.  A lot has happened since my last post, June 27th.  At that time I was pregnant and wondering if God was giving us a boy or a girl.

And now, we have a happy 5 month old daughter.  On July 11, 2013, we welcomed Nadia Elise into our home.  7lbs, 11 oz of joy.  And it was beautiful.  Although it was a scheduled c-section it was my first one that I entered the operating room at peace.  And thankful for doctors and hospitals.  C-sections my friends, are not so pleasant and has taken me years to accept.  I'm in a good place now and Drew and I made the most of it.  I spent a lot of my first weeks simply resting and holding my little girl.   My neighbors had been worried for me, over and over I heard "how are you going to do it, with a c-section and four kids?", and then they witnessed something that to them was rare.  For 8 weeks they saw people coming and going, dropping off meals and picking up kids for playdates.  My Mom was here every day for the first two weeks and after that we had a mothers helper come in two days a week and my Mom continued to pitch in on the off days. Mobility is something you lose after a c-section and its a huge deal when you can finally walk to the park with your children on your own!  Thankfully, our friends have a daughter who's in highschool and she was a huge help, walking kids to the park, chasing after them outside and helping with lifting laundry baskets and so much more.  The older kids pitched in and though it may not have been a summer of beaches and splash pads it was a summer that as a family we had to work together for mom and baby.  And it was beautiful.

And because of all this help I was able to recovery, with no complications.  And blessed to be reminded of what a wonderful family and church community we have, one I so often take for granted. My one neighbor said to me "you just don't see that anymore, that is how it used to be".  

And now here we are, 5 months later.  School is in full swing and we've just entered Christmas break, Kaylin is in to grade 1 and Jacob is off to Kindergarten a few days a week.  Baby number 4 is often plopped down in the middle of the chaos, happy and busy trying to add her own noise to the crowd.

And now I present you with some pictures of newborn Nadia (she is 5 months old at the time I post this! later this week I'll post updated pictures but for now, we enjoy the memories of a newborn caught on camera by my good friend Tamsen at  Creative Clicks Photography.  (Tamsen these pictures are beautiful and I'm so thankful for them!).

Cold days of Winter

Its been wickedly cold the past few days and I always find it a struggle when getting out with the kids becomes difficult.  Its interesting to me how when one is forced to stay in a house the walls slowly start to close in, the rooms definitely become smaller, the atmosphere more tense.  Its also interesting to me how once you get out of the house for a morning with the kids, the rooms appear to have stretched back to their normal size and life continues.

Winter, I know is hard for moms with young ones at home.  As they get older the kids become a bit more resilient to the cold and find that the joy in skating or playing with snow much worth the effort of getting ready.  They seem okay with frozen red noses and icy cheeks. But when they are young, winter becomes a chore. Bundling the littles up in their winter protection gear takes time and the time they are willing to stay outside seems much shorter than the effort to GET outside. 

Yes, January and February are difficult.  The days of throwing sandals on the kids and racing to the park for 45 minutes to escape the confinement of the house feels like years ago.  The joy of kicking kids outside to play and run around while you clean the house seems almost a forgotten luxury. 

A few weeks ago the kids and I packed up and meet with cousins and aunts to play at an indoor playground.  In which all I could think is, this place was an oasis for us Moms in the midst of winter.  I also have discovered that these places take competitor's coupons, which is a huge score as I can never find a coupon for the actual location that is most convenient to meet.

The feeling of I'm-stuck-in-the-house-I'm-going-to-scream feeling is not unusual and so I'm going to share a few of my go-to activities when the days get cold.

• Crafts/painting - I pour a coffee or tea, Kaylin cranks the kids favorite music (Steve Green - Hide 'em in your Heart).  If you don't have crafts on hand, find old magazines and let the kids go nuts with scissors, hand them a glue stick and some paper.  Their favorite magazines to cut?  Home decorating/food magazines.
• Movie - curl up WITH the kids on that day that is particularly cold and draining and pop some popcorn.
• Playdoh.  We love playdoh in our house and I always give the kids dull butter knives to practice cutting with, kids scissors too.  Great way to help their fine motor skills.  Great recipe HERE.  I've used this and loved it, although if your playdoh is a bit sticky you simply have to knead some more flour into the dough. 
• Build a fort in the playroom/bedroom, turn off the lights and hand them flashlights.
• Have your own story time - the kids bring piles of books and we lay on our bed and read.
• Send them to their rooms and set the timer.  Individual playtime is not always welcomed right away but ALWAYS within the first 5 minutes they find something.  Knowing they're not allowed out until the timer goes off works wonders (and you - YOU find a book and read for a a bit).  
• Bake - it takes 2x longer but the kids love it and its always fun watching them "steal" the chocolate chips out of the bag thinking you don't see.
• Splurge and go to an indoor playground.  Find coupons or see if the place your going takes coupons from their competitors.  WagJag can be an awesome place to find deals for indoor playgrounds!
• Make hot chocolate in "fancy" tea cups and add marshmallows.
• Invite another Mom over for a playdate.
• Library days - a favorite weekly outing in our home, much worth the effort of packing up kids.
• Lego - we pour the bucket on the kitchen table and build cities, towers, cars, everything.  

These are just a few of my go-to activities, I would love to hear more! And now for some pictures of summer - long ago:)

Beach days with cousins

Parks and pretend tractors

Ice-cream...

She's not quite so innocent looking anymore!

Until next time!

Family News and a Recipe

Family pictures make me laugh.  My Mom took this one of us on Christmas Eve, I was reminded that procrastinating is never a good thing and well, getting a family picture done on the Eve before Christmas is a sure way to not hand out Christmas cards (grin).  

And when I look at this picture I'm reminded that by the time we need to think about family pictures for a Christmas card in 2013 there will be another baby in our family.  July 2013, DV, we will be welcoming baby number 4 into our family.  The kids reactions were quite hilarious.  Kaylin jumping up and down, running to gather all her dolls to practice holding a baby, Jacob nodding and staring at my tummy very thoughtfully, and Maddie.  She shrugged her shoulders, said "o-tay" and walked away. 

We've hit the second trimester and I'm thankful that, although the nausea remains I'm no longer as sick as I was.  I'm also thankful that the kids always let me catch a 20 minute nap at some point in the day. 

And now a recipe... 

A friend introduced me to a new chili recipe, which is by far one of the best that I have ever made/had. Its made my list of good dinners to pass on to other families.  I add some fresh rolls and some baking.  I've had good reviews from this recipe and although I don't have pictures (the last three times I made it I forgot) I'm sharing it. 

Ladle me Red (from the Looneyspoons recipe collection)

1 1/2 lbs of extra lean ground beef ( I use 2lbs usually)
2tsp of minced garlic
1 cup each of diced celery, green bell pepper and red onion *note1*
1 1/2 tbsp of chili powder
1 1/2 tsp EACH of ground cumin, and dried oregano
1 tsp of ground coriander
1/2 tsp of black pepper
1 can of (19oz/540ml) diced tomato undrained (you can use a large can if you want)
1 can (14oz/398ml) tomato sauce (I prefer low sodium)
1 cup of beef broth (again low sodium)
1/4 cup chopped celery leaves 
1 tbsp of hickory flavored bbq sauce (or whatever bbq sauce you have on hand)
1 can of kidney beans, drained and rinsed (19oz/540ml)
1 can of beans in tomato sauce 
3 tbsp chopped fresh cilantro (I skip this - our family does not love the taste of coriander)
1 tbsp freshly squeezed lime juice (if I don't have it in the house I skip this as well)
2 tsp of liquid honey

* Cook beef and garlic in a large, deep, non stick skillet or pot over medium-high heat until beef is no longer pink. Stir in the celery, onion and green pepper. Cook and stir for about 3 minutes, or until veggies start to soften

* Stir in chili powder, cumin, oregano, coriander and black pepper. Add undrained tomatoes, tomato sauce, beef broth, celery leaves, and bbq sauce. Bring mixture to a boil. Reduce heat to low. Cover and simmer for 20minutes, stirring occasionally

*Add beans and simmer, covered, for 10 minutes. Remove from heat. Stir in cilantro, lime juice and honey. Serve hot.


Enjoy your weekend all! 

Joy

The weather has been pretty good so we've been able to go to the park, get out of the house and just play.  These are the days when I sit back and watch them and find myself so thankful, so completely overwhelmed in blessings.  

I was at a Christmas social this morning for the women's bible study I attend, to sit and talk with other moms is wonderful.  To come into a home with your hands full of kids and coats, shoes and bags and not be the only one is a blessing.  I get such encouragement from our church, a place where family is such a focus, where children are such blessings.

Sometimes when I'm running my errands the reactions I get for having three close is wonderful.  The small words of encouragement usually come from older couples, ones whose children are long grown-up.  They pat me on the arm and say "I remember those days, cherish them".  Other times, I get looks that aren't so nice, comments of "you must be so busy, how do you cope, are they all yours? do they have the same Dad? (yes - that one came to me when Maddie was about one).

A friend encouraged me once to react to these comments with the words "yes, it can be very busy, but its such blessing".  Kids listen closely, and this response is a good one for them to overhear as well.  The reality is some shopping trips are huge successes, where we stop and count out the apples together or the kids look at the cheeses and tell me which one is the lowest price.  When we play "I spy" in the lineup while waiting.  When we look happy. The other reality is that is not going to always happen, having kids is never picture perfect. My last grocery shopping trip was of me running around, two kids squished in a cart (one crying) and one trailing behind while I grabbed everything I needed and rushed out as fast as I could.  I looked tired, overwhelmed and not so happy.  The kids were fighting and at one point when I was paying for my groceries they started yelling at each other, and I mean YELLING.

The next day was this day, when we ran to the park and I took pictures.  Jacob became a taxi driver and I sat in the play car as he explained the rules of his taxi and he drove me to wherever I wanted to go.  We drove to the zoo, to the ocean and to the mountains.  Kaylin and I were the passengers and I listened as she described what she saw.  And to sit there and listen to the imaginations of your children is a thing of beauty.

To watch them play together, to watch them grow together is sometimes hard to express. Joy, contentment, trust and love all rolled together.

Is life busy?  yes.  Do I get overwhelmed?  absolutely.  Would I change anything? never.

And those negative comments that I sometimes get when I'm out and about?  They are (finally) beginning to not bother me as much.  This is the life that I've been called to, and though outsiders looking in may wonder, I'm learning that its up to me to show them that yes, this task of mothering, of raising children to know Him, it is beautiful, it is a calling and there is joy.  So much joy.

Decorating for the Holidays

I'm no decorator.  Its taken me awhile to get used to this fact and not convince myself that I should be, but the truth is that stuff just doesn't bother me.  I can live with crooked lines on my Christmas tree and the fact that there's still a small pumpkin sitting on my shelf.  The unfinished trim in my house doesn't bother me, we'll get to it when time and money allows.  And you know what?  Its okay.  I love enjoying the beautiful decorating of friends and family, I love sitting on the couch sipping tea and drooling over home magazines.  Its just hard for me to find time putting it together in my own home.  I'd much rather spend the afternoon cooking or baking or playing the piano.  And its okay.  

But my house?  It doesn't come naturally to me.  And so our Christmas decorating is more about Drew bringing in the tree.  The kids tearing through the $0.50 bag of decorations I picked up at a garage sale 7 years ago and the music of my childhood playing softly.  Always at one point I stand with my head tilted wondering why my tree doesn't look like it did in my head, and how in the world do people do it.

A complete mystery to me.  And so I gave up, stepped back and the let the kids take over.

Listening to Nana Mouskouri's Little Toy Trains and making hot chocolate for the kids while they proudly place as many balls as they can on one small lower branch. "See Mom, THIS is how you do and its prreeeettty".

At some point in the decorating Drew decided that it was time to introduce the kids to new memories and cranked the song from the Grinch and then called a break in the tree makeover to watch Charlie Brown's Christmas, one of his childhood memories.  This is what makes us work.  We blend our different childhood memories, I get the first half of the night, he gets the second, and during it we blend in our own.  The tree that is quite obviously decorated by children's hands and one that doesn't bother me enough to fix it.

I had never watched a Charlie Brown Christmas, and I must say it was rather intriguing.

And this one's for my mother-in-law who mentioned to me this week that the kids always look so happy on the blog:)  How DARE mommy take away a glass ornament....

Enjoy your weekend all!

Giving Thanks - Part 2

Its a cold rainy Tuesday.  Tuesdays are a bit of a highlight for me these days, there is no school for Kaylin, no extra day-care kids.  Its our library day, our morning to go out with just the 4 of us and explore piles of books.  Jacob and Maddie nap well on Tuesdays and Kaylin plays quietly in her room during nap time.  And that means I have time to show you pictures of our 4 day escape into the forest.

A place were fashion became non-existent and in its place was "wear whatever and as many clothes as you can so you don't freeze".  We hiked and walked and warmed our hands by the fire.  It wasn't all wonderful, there was tears and some sibling rivalry over small things, like who gathered the most acorns, who had the bigger bowl of chips, normal day-to-day stuff.  The difference was Drew and I were there, together with no distractions.  The day-time parenting was split between the both of us and for me this is always a break.  We hiked and walked and explored most of the time. 

*****
You'll probably have noticed that I've been working on the blog design, bare with me as I fiddle around with it over the next week.  Hubby suggested the name "Dumptrucks and Pigtails" randomly one night when I was lamenting over the fact that I couldn't think of anything.  After rolling it over in my head for a bit I realized I liked it and decided to give it a try.  For those of you who follow me, if I change my url/domain I'll be sure to send you a note to update your links.

Happy rainy, foggy and cozy Tuesday!