Boy or Girl? We Will Wait and See

***note - ramblings of a pregnant women and pictures completely unrelated ***

The house is quiet, with the songs of lullabies floating from Kaylin's room.  She's our non-sleeper and we've (thankfully) discovered that quiet music does the trick.  The trouble is that the music is so peaceful that while I tidy and put away the traces of the little ones all I really want to do is light a candle and close my eyes.  

It was a beautiful day today, I had an ultrasound, and knowing it would be the long one my parents stepped in and moved in for a few hours..  Which removed all my stress of dropping/picking kids up.  

Seeing the little arms waving around and the little heartbeat pumping puts my mind at ease and I feel comforted, prepared for whatever lies ahead.  Healthy babies, healthy pregnancy is not something we take for granted.  As I sat and waited, for a long time with a very full bladder....ahem, I saw many children being wheeled in and out of rooms.  Hospitals always give me a pair of different eyes.  Seeing parents who live that life, seeing kids patiently waiting, obvious to the viewer that this is not their first time.  Then there are those of us who are in for regular appointments and we wait.  I've noticed that the waiting in a hospital seems a bit more peaceful, as though we're all on the same page.  Knowing that there are simply higher priorities than the regular ones and seeing one young Mom cradling a newborn, waiting her turn made me thankful.  Thankful that if it was me, or one of mine in need of an emergency procedure/check-up that they would find the time, they would make the time to see to it.  And so I waited and cheerfully lamented to another soonish-to-be-Mom about having pregnant ladies fill up bladders, which does create the perfect trampoline for rather active unborn babes, stick them in a waiting room and make them wait for over an hour.  Its rather torturous actually :) 

And then it was my turn and it went well.  Although the technician's never say too much, I got some great views of the baby.  Him/her, we'll find out in 4 months and the waiting this time seems harder than the others.  We decided to not find out, we didn't find out with any of the others and fell head over heels in love with that moment.  Its not for everyone and I get that, but it is for us.  And the waiting, the hours, the weeks, heck - the months leading up to it all roll into that one moment.  A moment when all preconceived notions of wishing for a boy, or wishing for a girl are completely washed away in a land of silliness, because this perfect baby cradled into my arms is exactly who he/she was born to be.  And that moment is something I've clung to the last two c-sections, that moment which gave me such focus and determination to make the best of something that I really wished wasn't necessary. 

And watching the screen today was powerful, something that never grows old.  The little kicks and "dancing" which are slowly and steadily getting stronger, though much more relaxed than our last one. A reminder that children are so very different, even in the beginning.  And I find myself content and happy and excited to slowly watch our next stage of life begin.

The older two have many questions this pregnancy, Jacob with his "I can lean on your tummy, thats okay but standing on your tummy would be bad". "A boy" Kaylin informed me, is what she's asked for.  Simply, "because".  "Because boys like boy things and they don't like my things....".  And sure enough we have a 2 year old who's currently obsessed with whatever her big sister is doing.  I secretly love and adore this, although I fear my almost 6 year old does not see the beauty in it. 

Sometimes the fuzzy pictures really are the best

As for me, I'll continue to crochet my way through a blue blanket and then a pink one.  I'll prepare two little piles of clothes, one with shades of pink the other with shades of blue.

And with that rather random post about baby ultrasounds and really, baby wonderfulness in general I need to prepare our home for a soon-to-be 6 year old.  Cause really, when "you turn 6 its like, the best birthday year ever". 

Adios friends!

    Cuddling with the newest baby in our friends group.