Happy and Sad

I don't have much time to post, and yet I find myself torn.  Torn between the celebration of a little boy's 3rd birthday and the celebration of a life lived, a life that has been called Home.  My Uncle passed away Monday afternoon.  It is a blessing for him, for my Grandma, that his suffering is over, that he has completed his race and has finished in glory.  My grandparents were blessed with the birth of a son, the birth of a child who had down syndrome.  Blessed may be a different word for many, but I believe this, that the Lord entrusted to my grandparents a very special son, one who would show those around him what it meant to have a child like faith.  And so this weekend we will gather as family and remember a life that he lived.  It will not be easy, funerals never are, and yet we rejoice because we know there is so much MORE for him.

And today I am focusing on a little boy's birthday.  I look at his baby pictures and wonder how time has passed so quickly.  I have guilt, for there are not many pictures of his babyhood.  It was difficult, very difficult.  He was colicky, and we paced floors for hours with him.  He was sick for a few months, something that we feared was worse than it was.  A flu bug that kept getting him, causing him to lose weight, which is a worry when a baby already struggles to gain.  And yet, through all those months I look back with joy.  A joy of watching a baby grow through this, a joy of learning how to cope and how to work together as husband and wife and help each other through these times.

And its hard to believe that this is what he has grown into.  This year still has not been easy, it has been filled with challenges.  Of tempers and anger and fighting food.  In the past month we have discovered that sugar and food colouring appear to attribute to these violent mood swings.  And on a strict diet he has thrived.  Happy, content, slow to anger.  

And yet, even through the difficult times he has blessed our home.  With laughter, for he is a clown.  His obsession with trains and tractors.  His quickness to correct me when I say, "hey look!  a dump truck", and he shouts "NO!  Its a back hoe" (or whatever it is, I don't but he does).  

He is passionate and does what he wants to do.  He has a character that is difficult to parent, and yet I know that these are good challenges, good qualities for later in his life.  And today we gifted him with a Thomas train.  His little heart was so set on this. He didn't even touch his first present this morning in fear that it was a substitute for what he truly wanted.  Later today I overheard him mumbling to himself "phew, I got thomas". And he walked past me shaking his head. 

And as difficult as this strong willed spirit can be I am so thankful.  Thankful for a little boy who is not afraid to be different and say what he wants.  For a little boy who crawls in bed with me in the morning for a cuddle but already won't let me hold his hand in public.  For a little boy that despite the difficult times has brought so much joy in our house, laughter at our dinner table. Who loves his sisters fiercely and is quick to protect them on playgrounds.

Happy Birthday Jake!  I pray that we are blessed with many more!