My posts seem to be around every 2 weeks. And with each one I tell myself "now I'm back on track, 2 posts a week, that shouldn't be hard". But it is hard, and I find myself using my spare time for other things. Sometimes reading, other times remembering what it was like to colour as I pick between broken crayons and brighten up my allotted spot in Kaylin's colouring book. I've helped in giving dump-trucks their baths and have found myself simply following Maddie as she rips my house apart. Yesterday she dumped all of the bathroom garbage into the toilet and when I caught her she brushed off her hands and piped "all done mommy", I know thats what she said, although it sounded more like "llll ooonn Mommmmeeee". This one is non-stop, I keep saying the busiest one, although Drew is quick to tell me that I have just forgotten and it just feels like that because she's the third. I dunno....
She starts kindergarten next week, 2 days a week and while my momma heart is happy and excited for her to spread her wings, at the same time I'm struggling. I like things the way they are and a small part wants them to stay like this. I know there is beauty in the next stage, fun in the backpacks and school programs but it is a change, and as I get older I discover more and more that I don't really like change. And suddenly those 5 years I had with her at home are gone, far quicker than I could have imagined and I can't help but feel a bit sad by that. She's going to be attending a private Christian school and while I'm thankful for this I know that within a Christian school there will still be many challenges to face, obstacles to overcome.
Jacob's going to miss her, but I also feel he'll quite enjoy being the "oldest" for a few days a week, and I am looking forward to spending some more time with him while Maddie naps.
And while I may not love change I know that things can't always stay the same. Life moves on and we grow, we stretch and we learn new things, and after I shed a few tears when she leaves on her first day I know it will be good!
Today was a busy day. Extra kids day. I love my house to busy, bursting, music playing and stickers and paper scattered around the floor. My Mom came to my rescue today and brought Kaylin to school, an open house that allowed her to bring some of her school stuff and re-meet her teacher. GULP!
She starts kindergarten next week, 2 days a week and while my momma heart is happy and excited for her to spread her wings, at the same time I'm struggling. I like things the way they are and a small part wants them to stay like this. I know there is beauty in the next stage, fun in the backpacks and school programs but it is a change, and as I get older I discover more and more that I don't really like change. And suddenly those 5 years I had with her at home are gone, far quicker than I could have imagined and I can't help but feel a bit sad by that. She's going to be attending a private Christian school and while I'm thankful for this I know that within a Christian school there will still be many challenges to face, obstacles to overcome.
I'm glad that we decided to not start school any earlier, it was quite simply the right choice for our family. This past year has been wonderful, but now she's excited, ready to spread her wings. I see it in her eyes when we talk about school, there's an eagerness to stand on the edge of the world and embrace it. School for her is a step to growing up, a chance to branch out and meet new friends, learn under new teachers and home, home will always be the base, the support, the comfort, the love and guidance that she needs.
Jacob's going to miss her, but I also feel he'll quite enjoy being the "oldest" for a few days a week, and I am looking forward to spending some more time with him while Maddie naps.
And while I may not love change I know that things can't always stay the same. Life moves on and we grow, we stretch and we learn new things, and after I shed a few tears when she leaves on her first day I know it will be good!
Amen to thinking the past five years have flown by! My momma heart is feeling exactly the same way as yours is. Hope Kaylin enjoys the first day, the first week, the first month and the first year spreading her wings at school!
ReplyDeleteWow! School already! I am sure once you get used to it you will love having your hands a tiny bit less full...I can't imagine how hard that will be though, to let one of your babies go!
ReplyDeleteoh sweet mama. i hope this week is going well for your fam and your heart, as school started. xoxo!
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