for better days

Its been awhile since I've ventured onto my blog. Life has a way of running ahead of itself. For all my faithful readers, i can't promise this won't happen again. I would like to, but it wouldn't be wise. As much as I love documenting my life, my actual life is more important than the documenting of it. One more week and life will slow down. My piano recital is tonight.



My stomach is in knots for my young musicians. They have all worked so hard this year and tonight is the time for them to shine. To make mistakes and learn to keep playing. To have a feeling of accomplishment and relief when it is over. I love ending the year this way. Next week I do have my last week of lessons, this gives me one week to come up with some small tips and suggestions for students to practise over the summer. And then it is 10 weeks off. 10 weeks where our house will be ours, where the kids can be loud and sleep as long as they want.

The past couple of weeks have been exciting! I have a new nephew, Mark Andrew was born to Nate and Stace. He is adorable! and parenthood suits them. I'll post pictures eventually, I just need to make sure I have permisson. This is the first boy to carry on the Jansen van Doorn name!

And this week a dear friend of mine had a little baby boy, Gavin. My dear friend who I went to highschool with. We started "hanging" around in grade 12, along with two other girls. And since then the four of us have been best of friends. We've watched eachother grow up from silly teens into mature women. We've seen eachother fall in love and get married, and now we have families. Friends are like gold. We are all so different, yet thats what makes us close. We may not all talk as often as we like but when there's a need there's a sense of knowledge and peace that they are just a phone call away.

Congrats to Nate and Stace and Steff and Kev! May the Lord guide you all as you raise your little boys to know Him!

A Day for Mom

Mother's Day. A day meant to be enjoyed as a family. This year we were going to enjoy by going for a walk among the lilac trees. I love those purple fragrant blooms.


They remind me of my home growing up. My Mom would cut them and their fragrance would always be in the house for those short weeks that they bloom. So this year we were going on Saturday. We try to split up Mother's day into two days, so our visiting with parents isn't to hectic. As our family grows its getting harder to squeeze in more than one visit and two church services in a Sunday. But Saturday it rained so our plans for a walk were cancelled. Instead we had coffee with my parents. It was nice, a chance for Kaylin and Jacob to have Grandma and Grandpa all to themselves. Drew was home Saturday, this is a present enough for me! We strolled down the isles of the grocery store together and cleaned the house together. What a holiday! seriously!! Drew ran some of my errands for me and by 4:00 we were done and ready for Sunday. And we relaxed. Sunday we visited my in-laws and had a wonderful afternoon there. And Sunday night it was back home with just us. I was going to write more detail about what we did but instead I'm going to focus on the little people who call me "Momma"


Kaylin, so full of empathy for those around her at such a young age. Her excitement over the little things in life flow out of her. Her face is an open book. She has a love of books, crafts and will spend hours each day colouring. She used to cry when she went out of the lines. Drew had to talk with her, to assure its okay. Now she happily scribbles all over the page "its okay Mommy, I can stay in the lines when I go to school, Daddy said so". She is smart, we struggle to keep up with her thoughts. She's a mother, when we are sick she brings blankets and stuffies to our side. She sings us songs and kisses our foreheads. And she is bossy and stubborn. This is going to be our challenge.


Then there's Jacob. Second in command. And such a BOY! He destroys things that lay in his way. Obsessed with balls. And very very strong willed. One of my friends described him as "intense". Yet in everything he does he does it with all his heart. Even his fits of rage. He's so quick to run up to me for a quick kiss and hug before resuming his destruction. When Kaylin has to stay in the corner he cries and goes to stand in the other one. He walks with his chest puffed out and swinging his arms, he runs into walls and hits coffee tables with his head. We cringe and he stands up and says "owwww" and glares at the object that jumped out at him. Then walks away, more angry at the objects in his way than the fact that he got hurt. He is a clown. When we get mad he simply closes his eyes as if to disappear. He can make the whole family burst into laughter at a simple expression. Our challenge with him is that. To parent him strongly for he so easily turns discipline into a session of laughter.

I love watching these two grow and see how they fit into a family. What a blessing!

House Messes

I stress about the shape of my house. I want it to look perfect all the time. Perhaps to hide the fact that we still havn't painted...or that I still haven't redone my dinning room chairs, and that Kaylin's room only has one coat of paint on the walls. After a month. Jacob's room is still purple...sigh I seem to think that as long as the house is spic and span everything else will be overlooked. Silly isn't? When an opportunity comes to open your house to others your first thought is about dishes in the sink. Since when is having dishes put away more important than hospitality? I have to remind myself that when the day of judgement comes God will not question the state of my house, it will be the manner in which I opened my doors for others. How I shared the things that HE has given us. Funny how perspectives are so lost over such little things. This is the mess to which I opened my doors to this morning.



Not like me, my house is usually in order. Well, I should say most of my house is in order. I usually end up shoving things in closets right before piano lessons need to start, but for the most part its in order or at least appears to be. But despite the mess we did manage to have a lovely cup of coffee/tea and good fellowship. And because it was at my house rather than the park (which was so cold and windy I know Jacob would have gotten an ear infection) Jacob could take a much needed nap. Its fun to see the blessings in small things as well. Or not so small...for when Jacob misses a nap he's a bear for about a day or two.

There's a stigma for stay-at-home Moms I think, that they have too much time on their hands. I often hear this response from others when I tell them what I do "and do what??" they say. I find myself apologizing when people come over about not having finished decorating. Apart of me wants to scream "don't judge me, I'm busy". But I'm learning not to care so much...someone once told me its not a house that reflects on a Mom but the behaviour and happiness of her children. The time spent teaching children about God, about love and about what is right and wrong. For that is first and foremost the task that parents are given. I like to remember this.

Besides when I do clean up this is what Jacob does to my flowers. They rain down petals! How fun!