Seeing Through their Eyes

Saturday Jacob woke up and ran to our room.  It was his last soccer game.  We've been making this a big deal in our house, with so much attention on Kaylin heading off to school Jacob was showing signs of feeling forgotten.  It poured on Saturday and soccer was cancelled. Of course.  Drew was around and spontaneously suggested that we blow this popsicle stand and tour the warplane museum that's 20 minutes away.  All three are rather into the whole airplane thing and Jacob's been begging to see some "real REAL airplanes up close".

It had been a bit of that kinda week.  I needed to get out as badly as the kids and I'm thankfully Drew recognizes the signs before I do. We jumped in the van and headed off.  To realize that we didn't even pack a diaper bag, this spontaneous thing?  We're working at it.  

We walked between airplanes that all had large "do not touch" signs. I would be lying if I told you I remained calm and relaxed the entire time. Despite my stress levels of fearing that a little hand would ruin the job of the restoration teams, it was fun.  A lot of fun.

My favorite. HA!

We're learning that when life is busy we need to grab those moments when we're not.  That sometimes when a house seems to be full of cranky kids, the crying and yelling is sometimes simply a cry to spend more time with them, away from distractions, away from home duties.  I'm with them all day and yet I still need to be reminded to stop and enjoy.  To kneel beside them and explain the parts of the airplanes, to listen to them and to just walk beside them, hand in hand or closely behind.  No time constraints, no phone's ringing, no computers to draw our attention away from them, no rush to finish.

Just a morning away.  To be reminded that this, this is all new for them.  A gift, a chance, for us to see the world through their eyes. 

Facing Fears

She aced the first day of school.  Her only moment of panic that morning was over what she was wearing.  Her new dress, a present from Oma and Opa for her first day, had been hung out and looked at daily for a week.  It wasn't the outfit she was objecting but the newness of something on a day that was already filled with so much "new".  

She grabbed her worn, favorite shorts and a newish -but already worn- shirt and stood in front of me.  Her eyes revealing that the little girl who appeared to be calm was perhaps not that calm after all.  We rolled with it. She feasted on pancakes and off she went.

The first day being such a success her next school day I walked her to the bus stop. Piece of cake, so I thought.  She was excited, walking and chattering, Jacob and her chasing each other as we waited.  The yellow bus came, looking small at first and suddenly it was stopped in front of her.  The doors opened and she froze, panicked.  I helped her on the bus and together we discovered that there was no seats for her.  Oh there was seats scattered here and there, but not upfront like I had prepared her for, and only with older, bigger kids.  Suddenly the confidence she had shown shattered and finally, I had to carry her off the bus, kicking and screaming.  Terrified. 

For me, the last stop before school, was a huge bonus.  Late drop-off, early pick-up.  For her it became a disadvantage, walking on a bus that is packed with kids.  I cried with her that morning, something I don't do often.  Its a hard thing seeing your child that scared.  She was shaking.  I drove her that morning and got a call in the afternoon that she would not get on the bus and can I please come and pick her up.  These are growing pains for us both, for her experiencing so many "firsts" and for me learning when to encourage, when to push and when to comfort.

The school has been fantastic.  By that afternoon they were already preparing seating arrangements to ensure that all the kids had a spot, with their classmates.  Kaylin was asked for her input on who she would like to sit with.  We're going to try again, not this week, but next week. I'll bring her to an earlier stop with some of her friends, a chance for her to get on the bus when it is not so full and with kids she knows well.  We've been talking about buses and looking at pictures of my first bus ride.  We drew a picture today of how the bus is laid out and where the SK's will be sitting.

Apart of me wants to forget the whole bus and just drive, but I know that for her, this would not be the best thing.  This is a fear that will continue to grow in her mind, and so deep down I know we need to confront it and not give it a chance to grow.  So we will try again,  a little more prepared this time.

And Jacob, he has been loving the two days a week that he gets to be the "oldest".  Thriving actually.  We practice letters at the table, and Maddie helps me work in the garden while he lines up Kaylin's ponies and has them doing some sort of a race/fight.  "A game" he solemnly told me "that Kaylin won't let me play...EVER..".

And since a post feels incomplete without a picture of a certain rather busy 21 month old.....

Have a good week!