The morning that started over 2x

At one point this morning, long before my coffee was even made, I threw up my hands and shouted "back to your rooms EVERYONE!".  In this house that means exactly that, we all head to our rooms, myself included.  Then quietly one door opens, usually Jacob first for Kaylin is much too cautious, and he says smiling "morning mommy".  Then Kaylin pokes her head out and seeing the coast is clear joins us. 

I've learned that bad days when you have little ones at home, and its raining outside, usually continue on that cycle until it breaks.  And in our case, its me who needs to intentionally get that cycle to stop.  And we start over.  Wipe the slate clean. Think yelling children badly in need of a Kleenex if you need a visual.

And as a Mom I need to be intentional about what I do.  No, not every moment is spent with me entertaining my children, I encourage lots of individual play time.  I like that the kids see me busy with other things, but there are days when my focus, my attention needs to be directed on them.  In our home its the day after a day-care day, after a school day.

And this morning, after start-over #2, it helped.  I made a big show of shutting down the computer and declared the much needed us day.  Which in our house means the stack of library books comes out, we play-doh and colour, we bake cookies.  No phone conversations or computer time and the morning is ours.  By carving out some intentional one on one time the mood is quick to shift.

Today we had two little friends join us and it was fun, loud and chaotic.  The sugar cookie dough was brought to the table and the kids happily stamped their hearts out.  And now they are napping, except Kaylin who is engaging Strawberry Shortcake and Lemon Meringue in a game.  And the computer can make its presence known as I'm in sore need of a break and there is no fighting for my attention.  Its exhausting this intentional mothering.

So, carpe diem, even if that simply means colouring and listening to Steve Green's Hide 'em in your Heart cd.

Giving Thanks - Part 2

Its a cold rainy Tuesday.  Tuesdays are a bit of a highlight for me these days, there is no school for Kaylin, no extra day-care kids.  Its our library day, our morning to go out with just the 4 of us and explore piles of books.  Jacob and Maddie nap well on Tuesdays and Kaylin plays quietly in her room during nap time.  And that means I have time to show you pictures of our 4 day escape into the forest.

A place were fashion became non-existent and in its place was "wear whatever and as many clothes as you can so you don't freeze".  We hiked and walked and warmed our hands by the fire.  It wasn't all wonderful, there was tears and some sibling rivalry over small things, like who gathered the most acorns, who had the bigger bowl of chips, normal day-to-day stuff.  The difference was Drew and I were there, together with no distractions.  The day-time parenting was split between the both of us and for me this is always a break.  We hiked and walked and explored most of the time. 

*****
You'll probably have noticed that I've been working on the blog design, bare with me as I fiddle around with it over the next week.  Hubby suggested the name "Dumptrucks and Pigtails" randomly one night when I was lamenting over the fact that I couldn't think of anything.  After rolling it over in my head for a bit I realized I liked it and decided to give it a try.  For those of you who follow me, if I change my url/domain I'll be sure to send you a note to update your links.

Happy rainy, foggy and cozy Tuesday!

Giving Thanks - Part 1

Thanksgiving found us in a rather rustic cottage.  We've fallen in love with the cabins in Allegany State Park.  They offer enough necessities(stove/fridge/heating) for my sanity to remain but remain rustic enough(no running water/bathroom) for my camping spirit.  Its a win-win and its a holiday that suits our family.

Away from all distractions, all people, all everything and it was just us. And it was good.  Very good.  We hiked and every time I looked through the camera lens I saw God's creation in a way that I have forgotten to enjoy.  To just breath and see the beauty present all around, its a gift.  I'm a city-dweller so these moments surrounded by nature is refreshing, energizing. 

Breathtaking views.

 Forests that positively glowed in colour.

I've always surrounded myself by people, thrived with having people around me. Even in high school I would often do my best studying right at our kitchen table with the flow of family around me. Now, I'm finding myself more and more craving silence.  Thriving away from people.  And I've discovered there is very much room for both.  For being surrounded and for being alone.  For giving and for reflecting.  For being there and for being absent.

Being alone with my family gave me the chance to see that my priorities have become a bit scattered. I was reminded that seeking approval from others is meaningless.  Lately, I have been too preoccupied in the opinions of those around me, and in that preoccupation I have neglected to care what my Heavenly Father sees. 

I have found myself overwhelmed in the roles I've been called to, my roles as wife, mother, sister, friend, daughter.  I catch myself struggling with trying to do all of them well, and its hard, at times impossible.  Then standing on a hiking trail, surrounded by nature I was reminded that when I strip away all my roles in life there is one that is unchanging, I am still a child of God.  And suddenly everything seemed to be simple again.  Not easy, but simple in a way that my life is not my own and it is to serve Him, first and foremost.  Above all roles, in everything I do. 

In the business of life this is quickly and easily forgotten.  Being busy in church, in school, with people, these can be good things.  But they can also take over.  And a reminder to just step back, breath and pray is good.  A reminder that life is not a competition over who is busiest, who decorates their home the nicest, who is the best mom, whose marriage is strongest, who makes the best chocolate cake.  These competitions are there because I let them be there.  Our world is broken and our lives will reflect that, but it is in giving over everything to God that we can be made whole.  And the lyrics of a song stand out to me, "when its all been said and done, did I do my best to live for truth? Did I live my life for you?".

Soon I'll share many pictures of our 4 days away, but today I wanted to give you an idea of the beauty that I saw, the beauty of creation that was such a blessing for me and hopefully for you as well.

"When its all been said and Done" by Robin Marks, you can listen to it here.

When it's all been said and done

There is just one thing that matters

Did I do my best to live for truth?

Did I live my life for you?

When it's all been said and done

All my treasures will mean nothing

Only what I have done

For love's rewards

Will stand the test of time

Lord, your mercy is so great

That you look beyond our weakness

That you found purest gold in miry clay

Turning sinners into saints

I will always sing your praise

Here on earth and in Heaven after

For you've joined me at my true home

When  it's all been said and done

You're my life when life is gone

Schedules and Pigtails

We have done the school thing now for a month, and finally this week I feel it slowly sliding into place, the new norm.  A bit rough, an adjustment in schedules.  After a rather tearful episode on my part to Drew that sounded somewhat like, "ahhhh I can't keep up with anything!  My laundry is piling up, I have memory work that has to be done and my garden is full of weeds, AGAIN" and him reminding me to let it go, ride with it and simply wait until the schedule comes together, "because" he told me "you don't DO without a schedule and it just needs to be there, and it will be there, just wait for it to come together on its own." Sometimes he infuriates me with the simplistic truth, to allow some time to adjust.

Its true, I am a scheduler.  Busy days and full agenda's I can deal with, if they are neatly placed in boxes and figured out.  Busy days and a full agenda without any good structure and I start to fall apart. My husband is (thankfully) quite opposite of me, he has a gift of just working with it, letting things come together on their own.  I like to figure out exactly how a new change is going to effect the family and has me needing it to be perfect right away.  A schedule that works before its been put together.

My biggest challenge with this whole mothering thing is just as you figure it out, you think you have an idea and a balance of how days work and how tempers flow it changes.  Suddenly a yellow bus causes havoc, you have two kids fighting to be in charge of games, chores and coloring books.  And your laundry pile becomes a gigantic pile, one that has somehow become home to numerous toys and shoes that have gone missing.  Courtesy of the little blonde girl who has a love of finding things and hiding them.

And last night I spent some time looking through my "final days of summer" photos.  It was therapeutic.

I'm ready for fall and the pumpkin muffins that come with the season, but seriously what is cuter than a onesie and big brother's rain boots?

And pigtails.  Little girl pig tails melt me.  Every-single-time.

Big sister jumped of that yellow school bus yesterday with huge smiles and a "hey Mom, its kinda neat!".  And Maddie, she claps and shouts "yaaa Kay, yaaa!!!" every time she gets off.

And boys and dump trucks, they have the same effect on me as little girls and pigtails.