Silence

The teeth have been brushed, hands and faces cleaned, stories read and bodies tucked into bed.  And the house is wonderfully silent.  Something that has been rare these days.  I baked and listened to classical music, normally I save the baking for the mornings, a fun activity for the kids. I measure and they pour.  

Kaylin sneaks chocolate chips when my back is turned and I sometimes leave it turned a bit longer to give Jacob a chance to sneak some too.  They take turns holding the mixer and they fight over who held it the longest.  But sometimes, on nights like this I feel like my kitchen is calling me to work in silence.  To mix and pour myself.  Its therapeutic for me, I thought of how thankful I am to have a husband who finds time to play with these kids.  Who will lay on the couch and tickle and let them jump on him.  They need this time but I know he does to, sometimes I think, even more than them.

I love our crazy, loud, chaotic home.  I love that these silent nights come at the exact moment when they are needed.

I love watching them laugh and giggle while they play with "Daddy".  Jacob is hard to take pictures of, he wanted his hammer in the picture so badly.

Today Kaylin had a dentist appointment.  I was asked what I do, I responded with the usual, I'm at home.  I was asked if enjoy this.  And for the first time I didn't feel offended.  I get asked so often, in a tone that implies I must either be crazy or uneducated.  Instead of getting offended I simply replied to her that I love it.  And I could tell that she believed me.

That despite the bags under my eyes, the fact that I had baby spit up on my shoes and traces of marker on my hands and that i was fumbling through my purse looking for my debit card, she believed me. 

And that made my day.  

Pumpkin Muffins

And as wonderful as Monday was, Tuesday was 5 times worse.  Horrid Tuesday.  I wanted to sent out resumes and find a job outside of the home horrible.  Screaming and doors slamming and feet stomping.  Awful.  I wanted to change my name and leave my children with a stranger horrible.  I wanted to sell my house with my kids still in it awful.  That kinda day.  

As with all days there was good times to be had, but snatches of awful are what stick in my mind.  In all honesty Maddie and the little boy I babysit (once a week) were wonderfully wonderful.  It was really just my oldest two.  And my nephew for the time I had him, he was really good. 

Sigh...

These awful days, they are apart of being home with little ones, they are apart of everyone's life.  They don't not happen just because you're home or because you work.  And you get through it and the next day is new.  Fresh.  And the two that caused all that horror woke up with no remembrance of the trauma they put on their mother.  They have behaved today and have played well.  The younger two are napping well.  Kaylin is at a playdate and Jacob has been wonderful.  And today I feel like I know what I'm doing and yesterday, well I felt like i was ruining them, one by one.  And that Maddie was sweet still only cause she hasn't been around long enough for me to ruin her.

And today is good.  And today is what I need to remember.  That those awful days are apart of mothering and there WILL be more like that. Probably many more.  And cause I don't want to think of the terrible yesterday I'm only going to think of today and share with you a yummy muffin recipe.  Not healthy (unless you can convince yourself that the pumpkin eliminates the sugar...I can).

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins
1 2/3 cups flour
1 cup sugar
1TBSL pumpkin pie spice (or just apple spice)
1tsp baking soda
1/4tsp baking powder
1/2tsp salt
2 large eggs
1 cup pumpkin
1/2 cup margarine (melted)
1 cup chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350.  In a medium bowl stir together dry ingredients, set aside.  In a small bowl beat together eggs, pumpkin and margarine.  Stir in choc. chips. Add to dry mixture and stir until just moistened.  Pour into greased muffin tin and bake for 15-18 min or until muffin tops spring back when touched.  Makes a dozen muffins (I always double the recipe so I can use a whole can of pumpkin and freeze half....they freeze great)....oh and you can add pecans, just brown them for a bout 5 min in the oven and add them with the choc. chips.

A disclaimer....if you know where I live and I post on a Monday that I'm going to be baking muffins later  do NOT show up after 9:00 thinking they are done and ready to be eaten...(ahem...Mom:)...it means I will be baking them LATER.....you can show up the next day to eat one:)

Mondays

I love Mondays.  I love that this morning its only just after 8 and the kids are fed and changed, Maddie's down for a nap and a load of laundry is whirling around.  Which makes me thankful for washing machines, imagine doing it all by hand??!!!

Saturday we went to our school's fall fest.  It was fun, meeting up with a lot of people we know but don't talk to very much.  The best part....hubby wearing the baby carrier and carrying the littlest little around.  The reptile show where we saw a huge snake, and huge hairy spider.  I acted brave for the kids but I haven't slept since.....they put it on a little boys head...I wonder if he's been sleeping?

Its getting cold outside which means fall is here. There has been a whole lot of play dough playing and puzzle making in our house.  Fall means hiking season and warm coffee and colourful pictures!!  and it means that its time to bake pumpkin muffins...I'll share the recipe later this week when i can take some pictures.

And this little girl. She's 9 months going on 4. She's trying her hardest to keep up with the other two. And in the process has fallen about a dozen times this weekend. Has managed to wrangle herself out of her highchair strap, which was noticed just in time. She cried. How dare we not let her stand in her highchair? or climb down stairs, or dive head first off of furniture?

Happy Monday!

Potty Training and Good Reads

The colds slowly seem to be lifting from our house.  Our weekend was nice, meaning that Drew and I were so stuffed up we couldn't do much but read.  We've been using the library more and the TV less.  I accidentally bought a book on his Kindle.  I was browsing through amazon and was a bit impatient.  Turns out that being impatient made me push the wrong button and it is that easy to buy a book.

It was worth it.

I highly recommend it.  It will be added to my favorite reads (when I get a chance to actually attach that to this blog...someday).  The story of how 3 people lived through the siege of Sarajevo.  Read it...I believe you'll enjoy it.  Or, at best not enjoy it and decide that my coming favorite reads will not be for you:)

We're having a good week, besides the snotty noses.  Jacob is potty trained (at least mostly, he'll have some accidents in the upcoming weeks), but with Jacob once he puts his mind to something and decides he's going to do it, he does.  This was my third attempt with him, and it went quickly.  He had decided that he was ready.  See this little boy, he is very strong willed.  He looked at me this morning and wrinkled his nose "see...i needs big boy underpants now...cause it works".  And, in Jacob style, this week has been good, he obviously has decided that this week will be one of few tempers and more sharing.  And I'm going to take it.  And soak it up, for next week can be quite different.  Soak up the last two mornings that have gone well.

Soak up the fact that my grocery bill just got a bit cheaper 'cause there's only one baby on diapers.  And she's cloth diapered half the time, so really we're only buying diapers for half a baby.

And cause my head's still a bit fuzzy from this cold that's all I got today:)

Have a good weekend all!

Yes to chocolate pudding!

A friend on facebook posted awhile ago a chocolate pudding recipe. Made with avocado's, honey and coconut oil. A thing of beauty and healthy goodness.

Well....

The kids weren't so sure about it. After all, its NOT full of sugar. But they kept trying...

Jacob kept sneaking little licks and shaking his head and saying "I dunnoo....i just dunnoo".

And after a few tries Kaylin decided that she did like it.  I enjoyed it the next day. The first day I couldn't get past the blender full of avocado. More to do with the fact that a couple of weeks ago Maddie had a rather bad reaction to avocado (or banana's we're not sure).  And I can't help but view avocado as something terrible and evil after that.  But we're slowly getting over that......

Heres the recipe!

Chocolate Pudding
2 Ripe Avocados (peel and cube)
1/2 cup of honey
1/2 cup of cocoa
2 TBSP coconut oil

You mix in a blender (a bit tricky cause its thick, it would be easier in a magic bullet)  And because all I have is a blender at one point I needed to add a dash of milk to help it mix.

Enjoy!

And on the home front, the colds have passed and we're a happy family once again! Phew!

Happy Monday!

An US Day

Yesterday morning a little girl climbed into our bed early. To snuggle and whisper in my ear "can we have an us day?". A day of being home and entertaining no one, of staying put and playing games. Play dough and Candy Land, colouring and watching a movie. I forget sometimes that these little ones crave this as much as I do. That they too need a break from the fun of play dates and library days, walks and parks and grocery shopping.

And we had an us day. We sipped tea out of little cups while we played a game of Candy Land. Jacob threw only one temper and they slept well in the afternoon. I enjoyed my flowers in a mason jar.

And last night somewhere between 2 and 4 I woke up with a burning throat, a pounding headache and a fever. I was reminded that oil of oregano needs to be purchased to help ward these things off. For mothering does not stop when I'm sick. There are tummies that need to be filled, and bodies that need to be clothed. Diapers to change and stories to read. Potty training that needs to be continued.

This is mothering. This is being at home. There is no calling in sick. But I can find things to be thankful for. Tylenol Cold, which seems to be kicking in, the third attempt at potty training which is proving to be successful. A chance to look at pictures from a labour day monday. A family reunion that gave us a chance to reconnect with cousins and aunts and uncles. A phone call from a friend offering to take one of the kids. Knowing that if that is needed I can do that. A second cup of tea with honey. Blogs to read while the kids watch a bit of tv.

Kaylin's been blowing away at every flower she can find. Making wishes in hopes that it will come true like one before

And a sick day tucked in between is apart of life.

Its been a good week. A Labour Day that the kids had with Drew. Where Jacob threw only one rather large temper in the middle.

And today will be a day of tea and another round of Candy Land. And perhaps if I'm lucky, all three kids will sleep at the same time and I can crawl in bed:)

Just Cause

Just cause sometimes a night sky is beautiful. And majestic.

And completely wonderful.

And makes you happy that you forgot to get the kids to tidy up the lawn that was littered with toys. And that you had to tidy up long after they were in bed. And you got a chance to see this.

And watch in silence. And it was good.

Powering Off

Last year, back in April I posted about shutting down on Sundays (here). Recently someone asked if we still do this. It made me realize that people do read this blog and, sometimes remember things :) the answer is, yes for the most part we do.

We have a chaotic schedule and this is something we do to try to keep Sunday separate. A break for all us. A day of worship, a day for family. Drew and I are active in a lot of church activities, and as a result our inboxes fill up fast and its very tempting to spend a Sunday night catching up. Drew's hours at work are long and the evenings are often used up for meetings. By the weekend the kids need time with Drew, and we need time together, and no distractions is a good thing. And so, we've found that its easiest for us to simply put the computer away for one day a week. Power-off for this one day. There are times we pull it out, but for the most part we don't and it has been a blessing. A huge blessing.

And instead we've been playing this...

and well, it brings my competitive streak. I hate losing. When Drew did this I thought he was being serious and doing a fist bump as a pre- game thing. I thought it was cool.

I fist bumped him back....and said may the best person win.....or maybe something more like your about to die..... either way. Couldn't figure out why he was laughing. Then he opened his fist.

I got it then.....

And with a glass of wine in one hand we ignored the kids who were giggling instead of sleeping. Showed that we completely did not trust one another, as when one of us went to enforce the"its time to sleep", the other would suspiciously glare at the board to see if one cheated.

I won! (ummmm....not after several bad attempts...). Playing a game on a Sunday night is becoming a bit of a thing for us.

And chess has replaced our scrabble.

What games do you play??

Whirlwind Days

I'm waiting for the little ones to tumble out of bed. This week has been exhausting. Good days and bad days all rolled into one. I feel battle weary. For the battles seem to wage on here. I want to crawl inside a little boys head and figure out what makes the good days so good and the terrible ones so terrible.

These days are fuzzy and busy. Non stop, sometimes I secretly long for days when they are older and don't need me for everything. And then, there are moments in a day when Kaylin will come up to me for a hug or wants to talk, and Jacob will grab on my legs and whisper a random "love ya", when I watch Maddie so determined to make it up those stairs. And her little bum sticks straight up in the air as she struggles with how to move her legs properly. And then when she makes it, she is triumphant. And I want these moments to pause. To slow done and enjoy them.



And the tempers of yesterday seem not so bad and a new day begins. And we start over. Not knowing if it will be a day that will be good. A day that they will be polite and play wonderfully, or if it will be a day that make me rush out the doors of a public place trying to avoid a screaming temper. A day that bed time does not come soon enough. When I can sip that glass of wine that has been waiting for me all day.



And I'm thankful - for the good days that are squished among the bad. For the reminder that parenting is about both. The days I feel like I've missed a chance at parenting, that I'm in over my head. That I really have no idea what to do. And I'm thankful, that i can turn to prayer and talk to my Heavenly Father, who parents me, and loves me in my good and my bad. In my moments of truth and my moments of shame. Who extends grace to me when I don't deserve it.

And I'm glad, that I have a chance to grow with the kids, and I pray most of all that I lead them and teach them by living an example. That I parent them not only in words but in actions. That they may see in my very life what it means to be a child of God.