On Christmas Decor and the truth of Motherhood

Dates. A due date, a date for if the baby doesn't come we're doing a c-section date. Christmas dates. Our calendar feels like it is looming before us and yet all we can do is wait and shrug our shoulders. Waiting for a baby is a test of patience, waiting for a baby in hopes of not having a c-section is a test of.....well..even more patience. Every day brings us a step closer to having surgery. Its frustrating. Poor Drew, he's worried. He tells me I've never been this anxious before, I haven't. We had a bit of a rough weekend, a Friday night confident that we would be going to the hosptial. The only thing holding me back was the late hour and wanting the kids to sleep, and thinking one more hour, hold out for one more hour, which turned into 6 hours and then a sudden stop.



I don't do well with no sleep and no sleep on Friday meant I was rather weepy on Sat and Sun. WAITING, is such a hard lesson. One I struggle to teach the children while knowing how awful I am at it. We try to teach the kids lessons in trust, to place our worries before the LORD. All our worries. I like to have plans for everything, but in Matthew we read "Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself". Drew asked me last night if I prayed about this. I stared at him. In all my worrying and fretting I hadn't. I've been so focused on making sure this baby comes before we need a c-section I have completely neglected to place it before the LORD. So I'm going to try. Funny how easily we think our worries aren't important to HIM. Thankfully I have a husband to remind me. A husband who isn't afraid to tell me when I'm trying to be in control. And who leads me in every way. And who lets me watch Road to Avonlea on a Sunday night.



And on Saturday, in the midst of a horrible Jonah-type weekend we built memories. I'm pretty sure I heard Drew muttering under his breath while fighing with the tree and getting the lights up "memories....we're building memories". Which I laughed at and handing him a cup of tea. I think he was hoping for something stronger:) The kids had a ton of fun. Most of the decorations ended up on the bottom. The breakable ones on top. The sign of little hands helping.



Jacob took his job oh so serious. Cleaning up. Once it was done he nodded at us and ran to the kitchen to put the towel away. Love. And I am so thankful that we put the effort in. I may have shed a few joys of tear watching Drew and the kids.